GENTLE MUSIC
BIRD TRILLS
BIRD COOS
Agaricus silvicola,
on leaf litter in association with oak.
BIRDS FLUTTER
HEARTBEAT THUMPS
Laetiporus sulphureus on oak.
Matured in two days from small yellow nodules
into a magnificent fan-shaped ripeness.
As I cut into the frond,
a small quantity of clear liquid streams from the incision.
Absolute perfect freshness.
TWIGS CRACKLE
BIRD SCREECHES
MUSIC WHIRLS
CLOCK CHIMES
THEME MUSIC
MUSIC CONTINUES
Mrs Chambers?
We were wondering if we could say goodbye to Mr Wainwright?
If they haven't screwed the lid down. You'll have to hurry.
Inside.
What do you do when you want to make a quick getaway, Colin?
You don't want to believe all the rumours you hear.
SOLEMN MUSIC
We'd like a moment alone with Mr Wainwright, if you don't mind.
Yes, Mrs Chambers.
Oh, have you seen my husband?
No, Mrs Chambers. Sorry, Mrs Chambers.
We might manage this more efficiently if I do it myself.
Very good. I'll just stand here
and pick you up from the tarmac when necessary, shall I?
Joyce, could you please tell Woody to stop fussing.
Joyce, how lovely to see you. And this must be your husband.
How do you do? Tom, this is Woody and Evelyn Pope.
It's Woody's croquet stall that I'm taking over in the village f te.
What a very pleasant surprise, Chief Inspector.
Mr Punch still keeping the locals on the straight and narrow is he,
er, Professor?
Oh, you flatter me.
No, I've handed it all over to someone more able-bodied.
I was expecting Gregory to be here.
CAR RADIO COMMENTATES CRICKET GAME
Oh, for heaven's sake, Kenneth.
You go on. I'll join you in a minute.
I hope you don't mind, I wanted to come -
I do mind. I really don't think it's appropriate you being here.
What?
If you'd done your job properly, Karl would still be with us.
Now please, just go.
Karl Wainwright was an old-fashioned man,
with old-fashioned values and an old-fashioned heart.
When I first arrived here,
I remember how he used to extol the virtues of tradition.
How he used to warn us against the evils of modern gimmickry.
SOFT CRICKET COMMENTARY I think we probably all felt
he was a little too suspicious of the central heating
as our hands turned blue in the harsh winters
and our bedside water froze solid.
But we loved him, nonetheless.
And there's no denying
his personality is firmly stamped on the hotel he owned for 40 years.
It's a tradition to which I know his successors will be committed,
with a few necessary modernisations of course.
But enough of the hotel.
We're here to celebrate the full life
of a wonderful, caring and much loved human being.
MUSIC SWELLS
Grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God
and the fellowship of the Holy Ghost be with us all evermore.
Amen. (ALL) Amen.
You probably don't feel up to the reception.
He means he's not up to it.
You're not much of a sweet sherry man, are you, my dear?
Oh, Suzanna. Mr and Mrs Bream.
What a delightful service. Thank you.
Why don't you come back to the house for a drink?
Tom doesn't look much of a small talk and sherry man himself.
You're as bad as each other.
Of course, Karl was always a generous supporter of the f te.
We can depend on the continued use of the hotel grounds
in future years? This will be the last year.
I'm afraid you'll have to find somewhere else to stick your Maypole
in the future.
Excuse me.
Suzanna, I didn't see Gregory at the service.
Oh, don't worry.
I'm sure he'll be back in time for your Punch and Judy show.
Even if Karl's funeral wasn't important enough for him.
You don't know where he is?
No, I don't.
MUSIC SWELLS
She's got quite a reputation, does Evelyn.
There was a woman here in the village
who'd been battered by her husband - oh, for years,
But she refused to take any action.
Then Evelyn's Punch and Judy show
included some none too oblique references to the husband
and the next day she walked into Causton nick and pressed charges.
Really?
There's always one or two locals holding their breath
when Mr Punch takes the stage in Midsomer Magna.
CLOCK TICKS
MAN CLEARS THROAT
Well, perhaps we should start anyway?
The f te committee suggested I paint up a new sign.
I quite like this one.
You'll have to watch him.
Now I can no longer wield a mallet in anger,
he's on the lookout for a new croquet partner.
You have to stalk the ball, you see?
Come on now. Your turn.
"I leave the hotel and my modest capital
to be divided equally between Suzanna Chambers, Gregory Chambers,
Julia Gooders and Tristan Goodfellow.
I know I can trust them
to continue running the hotel in the same traditional manner."
MUTTERING AND WHISPERING
Gregory's still not here?
No, we should be loading up the theatre.
Clarice Opperman. How do you do?
Oh, I'm sorry. This is Clarice, my niece.
She's staying with us, her parents live in Kenya.
Clarice, this is Tom and Joyce Barnaby.
Well, you'll just have to do the show yourself, my dear.
Me? No false modesty now.
But I'm not ready.
Of course you're ready. You'll do an excellent job.
We can't disappoint the children.
Tom, do you think you could help us load up the van?
We need those nice strong arms of yours.
Certainly.
We may borrow him to help set up the other end. Would you mind, Joyce?
We'll be fine. Don't worry.
If he tries showing you his pendulum stroke, just watch his hands.
SQUEAKING AND BEATING SOUNDS
JUDY: You tell me where that baby is.
PUNCH: I had a misfortune.
A misfortune? What kind of misfortune?
The child was terrible cross.
I throwed it out the winder. You throwed it out the winder?
(SCREAMS) AUDIENCE GASPS
I'll fetch the Constable and have you locked up.
(GASPS)
Oh, I'm sorry, I - (SOBS)
Ohh, she's dropped a puppet.
Where's he gone?
Where's Mr Punch?
Where IS Mr Punch?
That's a very good question.
He can be quite an elusive, big-nosed gentleman, can Mr Punch.
A natural mimic.
Now, where can he be? CHILDREN: He's behind you.
He's what? He's behind you.
He's behind me? SMALL CHILD: He's downstairs.
Someone's telling wee porky pies. No.
Oooh! CHILDREN LAUGH
See, I told you.
Well done. I dropped the puppet.
You kept it going beautifully. Didn't she, Tom?
It was very, very good.
Your first solo show.
Any news on Gregory? No.
I wonder if we should check the hospitals or something.
CRICKET COMMENTARY ON RADIO
Bowls in short and pulled away by Schofield, that'll go for four.
Yes.
Hello? Troy?
Oh, hello, Sir. Wasn't expecting to hear from you today.
There's something I want you to do for me.
It's a possible missing person - COMMENTARY INTENSIFIES
Sorry, Sir. Didn't quite catch that.
Will you turn the radio off and listen, Troy?
Sir. Yep?
The man's name is Gregory Chambers.
45 years old, medium build -
If there's been any kind of an accident, we should find him.
Isn't that Annie Tyson?
Annie, dear. Have you seen Gregory at all?
No. Should I have?
Not to worry. Looks like a good day's shooting.
He didn't go up to the woods, mushrooming?
Not as far as I know.
Oh, where the hell is it? Maybe he's gone walkabout.
Karl's death unhinged him.
Well, that wouldn't take an awful lot, would it? Ah.
Have you got anything?
Oh, I see, yeah. Thank you, thank you, Troy.
There's no news.
Look, I'm sure he's fine. Now you'll have to excuse me,
I have a Gothic heap I have to drag screaming into the 21st century.
I haven't seen him all day.
CHATTER AND LAUGHTER Listen up.
Seems Gregory Chambers hasn't been seen since this morning.
Anyone here seen him, knows where he might be?
CROWD MURMURS NO
Maybe he's found himself another woman, done a runner.
LAUGHTER
Well, what's sauce for the goose... Ain't that right, young Clarice?
Whether or not he had someone else, and I'm not saying he did,
he would've phoned to say he couldn't do the show.
What, he didn't do the Punch and Judy?
No, Peter, he didn't.
Well, what the hell's happened to him?
It's just as well the money's come through.
My selection of malts is getting a bit threadbare.
Don't be ridiculous.
I heard about your little outburst today.
You really must make an effort to control those nerves of yours,
my dear.
(GASPS) Ow.
FAINT CHATTER
And, ah, bring torches 'cause it'll be dark soon.
Sorry about all this. Ben's picking me up. Shall I tell Joyce?
Yes, please. Tell her I'll - I'll see her at home.
What's going on?
We're searching the woods. You cannot be serious?
Suzanna, can't you feel it? Something is wrong.
Look, he'll turn up tomorrow and wonder what all the fuss was about.
What if he doesn't? What if he's lying up there right now,
concussed with a head wound from a bad fall or a falling branch?
No, I'm sorry, this is ridiculous. I'm late for the designers.
You going to give us a hand, Tyson?
We're searching the woods for Gregory.
You mind you don't startle them pheasants.
Annie's father, the hotel gamekeeper.
Annie's father?
DOGS BARK MAN SHOUTS: Gregory.
Keep a straight line now.
Clarice? Where are you going? I want to check something.
MAN GRUMBLES: Come on, Gregory, this is valuable drinking time.
You found something?
Sorry, I've just checked the bedroom.
A bag's gone and some of his clothes are missing.
I'm afraid you've all been wasting your time.
Call it off?
Oh my god!
Mrs Chambers identified the ring on the finger as his.
We'll have to wait for fingerprints for a definite ID,
but there's little doubt
we're looking at the right hand of Gregory Chambers.
My guess is that the hands were removed to hamper identification.
Probably the head as well. Somehow this got left behind.
It couldn't have been severed during the course of the murder itself,
could it? I don't think so.
It was a hacksaw that was used. Not a classic murder weapon.
Well, thank you, George.
(SOBS) A severed hand?
Yes. Yes, I understand, Chief Inspector. I'll be there shortly.
I'm going to have to go to the hotel.
(SOBS HYSTERICALLY)
SUBDUED MUSIC
Who could have done it?
I don't understand. Why?
Poor Gregory.
God, this useless body. I -
(SOBS)
OMINOUS MUSIC
DISTANT SCREAMS
SQUELCHING THUD
First Mr Wainwright and then this. Poor Suzanna.
We'll want to start the interviews tomorrow morning.
Yes, of course. Thank you.
Oh, this is fine. Fine.
Good. Well, I'll...I'll brief the staff.
Ah, there's one more thing.
Mr Wainwright's will. Was Gregory mentioned in it at all?
Yes, he was. He received one quarter of everything.
The entire estate, including the hotel,
was divided equally between Gregory, Suzanna, Tristan and Julia.
Julia, that your wife? Yes, that's right.
Mr Wainwright was childless and he wanted to pass the hotel on
to the people who had made it a success.
Who's involved in running the hotel?
Suzanna's the manager. Julia does the books.
Tristan Goodfellow is the chef.
And, eh, Gregory sort of... ..helped out generally.
Do you happen to know who would inherit Gregory's quarter?
Naturally it would be Suzanna, his wife.
Take it out.
Every new professor should have a new Mr Punch.
He's magnificent.
Clarice, I want you to do the show at the f te.
You're ready. I saw that today at the Grenvilles'.
I want you to...to... (CRIES)
I think your aunt would like you to take over the theatre.
And I'm sure that's what Gregory would have wanted too.
Now remember...
..put your trust in Mr Punch and Mr Punch will put his trust in you.
It's all about trust, my dear.
DOOR CLICKS AND CLOSES
They've found a severed hand in the woods.
Yes, I heard.
But what if someone saw the car?
They'll be asking questions. They'll be snooping.
Well, then, they'll find out just what a naughty boy you've been,
won't they?
Ah, Troy, check the hospitals?
No reports of any one-handed men in casualty, sir.
So we can reasonably assume that Gregory Chambers is dead.
Just as well, when you think about it.
Well, he'd have only been able to manage a Judy show after that.
(CHUCKLES)
Get forensics to check the hotel incinerator.
Sir?
Sir, I was thinking. You know the tradition they have here at the fete
of Punch and Judy exposing local scandals?
You don't think Gregory could have been topped
to stop him broadcasting something?
The right hand being chopped off, maybe that was symbolic.
Well, it's certainly worth considering.
If perhaps a little fanciful.
I understand that you want to talk to me.
We certainly do, Mrs Chambers.
You've heard rumours that I have a lover?
Well, it's true.
I've been having an affair with Tristan Goodfellow
for the last eight months and it's not something I regret.
I'd be fooling no-one if I pretended I did.
It doesn't mean I didn't still love Gregory.
Just not in a physical way.
Sadly he wasn't blessed with any great enthusiasm in that department.
Can you tell us when you last saw your husband alive?
Certainly. About 9:30 yesterday morning.
He was already dressed for the funeral. We didn't speak.
And you had no idea that he was intending to leave you?
I didn't think he had it in him.
And what were your movements between the time you last saw him
and the funeral?
My movements? Oh, yes.
Right, well, I had a hairdresser's appointment at 11 o'clock.
Other than that, I was here at the hotel.
Which hairdresser's was that?
Petranella's in Causton. I came back via Badger's Drift
I had to go to the florists.
On my way to the hairdressers, I went through the woods.
That makes me a suspect, I suppose.
Look, just take another pill. You'll be fine.
Will you stop telling me to take another pill?
It's always take another this, take another -
Oh!
(SIGHS) Lily pollen. Look at it. I'll never get it off.
That's an MCC tie, isn't it, Sir? Ah, yes, it is.
Look, um...
..I'm afraid my wife's not really up to being interviewed just yet.
It's hit her very hard, Gregory's death and whatnot.
So perhaps you could do me first?
I, um, I didn't mention it yesterday, but actually...
..I drove through the forest in the morning.
So...
You don't happen to know what the score is?
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
The grieving widow.
Don't stop.
How's the search going, Chief Inspector?
Found any more bits yet?
(CLEARS THROAT) Of the body.
Nothing yet.
You said you drove through the woods yesterday, Mr Gooders.
What time would that have been?
Just before the funeral.
Had a meeting in Causton with my financial advisors.
I left their offices at roughly 11:40 to be back for 12:00.
It's, eh, Trillingham Ltd. In the High street.
And they'll be able to verify the time?
I'm sure they could, yes.
Did you stop off? En route?
No, no, no, no. I drove straight there.
Took about 15 minutes.
It's a reasonable route to take back from Causton.
It doesn't look as if either of them had the opportunity.
I mean, 15 minutes, that's pushing it a bit.
No-one could've had time to commit the murder and dispose of the body.
DOG BARKS
Anything? Nothing yet, Sir.
What about Abbot's Pool? We haven't started yet, Sir.
You'd have to be fit to carry a body this far.
Well, maybe there were two of them.
Or maybe the murder happened here
and the severed hand was taken to where it was found.
If the murderer or murderers detached the identifiable parts,
it's a pretty good bet they meant to leave the rest of the body
somewhere in the vicinity.
So, who do we interview next?
Well, there's Tyson the gamekeeper.
He wasn't exactly one of Gregory's greatest fans, was he?
And I've got a feeling the daughter, Annie,
she's gotta be in the picture somewhere.
But first, we'll start with Tristan Goodfellow.
I was in the kitchen from 8:00 till about 10:30.
Then I was in the office. I had a budget meeting with Julia.
And then I went back to change for the funeral.
Where was it that you changed?
The Annexe. It's where I live, at the back of the hotel.
And the kitchen staff can confirm that you were here?
Until 10:30
and then Julia Gooders can confirm I was in the meeting with her.
So it's just when I was getting changed that I was alone.
About 10 minutes.
You didn't have any help from Mrs Chambers then, Sir?
Not on that particular occasion.
But you're right, I do like Suzanna to undress me whenever possible.
She's rather an expert.
They've found a severed hand.
Why didn't you tell me last night they were searching the woods?
Somebody got a bit careless.
Still, there's no point in fretting about it.
Man plants his seed and then decides he doesn't want to own it,
he should expect the worst.
You. (SCREAMS) You! GLASS SHATTERS
SHOUTING AND SCREAMING
(VAGUELY) Yes.
Tristan was with me from 10:30 till about...11:40.
We had to cut it short because of the funeral.
I was wondering, Mrs Gooders -
I saw you after the funeral at the children's Punch and Judy show.
You seemed a bit on edge.
Yes, it had been a rather trying day.
But it was my goddaughter's birthday party and I'd said I'd go.
Never been fond of those...puppets.
Can you think of anyone who would want to kill Gregory Chambers?
No, it came as a total shock.
This village is normally so...so peaceful.
Annie?
Mr Tyson?
Who invited you in here?
I'm Detective Chief Inspector Barnaby,
This is Detective Sergeant Troy. You look as if you need an ambulance.
I don't want no ambulance.
What happened here?
What happened? Well, I'll tell you what happened.
That damn daughter of mine happened.
She's no good, just like her mother before her. Like a wild thing.
That. That was an original Georgian chair, that was.
But what does she do with it? She breaks it over my head.
Why? Why did she attack you, Mr Tyson?
Did it have something to do with Gregory's death?
Mr Tyson, what was the relationship between your daughter and Gregory?
Up the duff with him, that was her relationship. Four months pregnant.
And was I happy about it? No.
And did I kill him? No.
I shoulda done, maybe. (GROANS)
Get him an ambulance.
(SCATTERS BROKEN CROCKERY AND GLASS)
Mr Tyson.
Mr Tyson, were you in the woods between 9:30 and 12:00 yesterday?
Yes, I was.
But there was someone else there as well. I saw his car parked.
And the person in question wasn't that keen on Gregory neither.
Who was the person in question?
Colin Salter, conservation nutter.
Didn't like Gregory for collecting all them wild mushrooms.
"Denuding the woods," he called it.
Denuding? (LAUGHS) That's a word, coming from him.
Might have had a bit of company with him an' all.
Where can I find him?
(TAPS ON DOOR)
A bit quick to deflect suspicion, don't you think?
Yes, but from himself or his daughter?
Ah, I'm Detective Chief...
..Inspector Barnaby, this is Detective Sergeant Troy.
I'm not sure that's legal, Sir.
A man can dress as he wishes in his own home.
Would you mind putting something on, Mr Salter.
I'd like to ask you a few questions. ALARM RINGS
It's the pastry. (ANGRILY) The pastry, Colin.
I'm afraid this is not a good time, Chief Inspector.
Phone and make an appointment, would you please.
Bloody cheek. We'll phone and make an appointment.
Four months pregnant? By Gregory?
Apparently his enthusiasm in 'that department'
was greater than you thought.
I think I feel slightly nauseous. The gamekeeper's daughter?
You don't think that she might be responsible? For the murder?
Oh, I'll talk to her in due course.
What can you tell me about Colin Salter
and his relationship with Gregory?
(LAUGHS) Not even Colin would kill for the sake of some wild fungi.
Mind you, now you mention it,
they did once come to blows over some puffballs.
You find the subject of your husband's death amusing?
Alright, listen, I'm gonna give you a shortcut here.
The reason Colin Salter wanted Gregory to stay out of the woods
was less to do with mushrooming
than that Colin wanted the woods to himself.
He often goes there with his housekeeper, Florence.
He likes it out in the open...
..and I'm not speaking metaphorically.
ROOSTER CROWS
Annie Tyson?
Are you alright?
Sir?
What's in this fire, Annie? Pieces of Gregory's clothing.
Troy, put it out. There's water over there.
Did you burn these, Annie?
No, the fire was going when I got here.
Annie, if you knew these were bits of Gregory's clothing
why didn't you put the fire out?
You must have realised it's valuable evidence.
WATER SPLASHES Why didn't you call the police?
Sir?
What's this here, Annie? Is it blood?
How did it get here?
Alright.
Well, that's that then.
Bit of a disappointment when it's this easy.
They had a row when she told him she was pregnant.
He had cold feet, they had words,
it turned physical and she killed him, maybe by mistake.
She's certainly fit enough.
And she's a gamekeeper as well, remember.
They butcher animals all the time.
What about your theory
that the motive was to silence Mr Punch at the fete?
It's time you met the professors.
PUPPET: Please, Sir, show me the way. I was never hung before.
Very well. As you're so kind and condescending.
Here my boy. Now place your head in here like this.
This is the right and proper way. The rope placed under my chin.
Now I'll take my head out and put yours in.
And you must turn around to the ladies and gentlemen and say,
"Goodbye, fare you well".
Goodbye, fare you well.
(ALL LAUGH)
LAUGHING: That's the way to do it.
It may be a bit much for a sensitive modern audiences.
But very well done. Take five, darling. We have visitors.
Any news?
There's been a development, but before I tell you...
..may I ask you, are you aware of anything that Gregory was planning
to include in the Punch and Judy show at the fete,
that might have motivated someone to silence him?
Not that I can think of. We hadn't really discussed it.
It was normally a last minute thing.
I see. Thank you.
We have made an arrest.
Annie Tyson.
Annie? No.
We found her at their small holding by a bonfire
with remnants of Gregory's clothing.
We also found bloodstains in the back of her Landrover.
Did you know she was four months pregnant by Gregory?
I'd guessed as much. I can't believe it.
Sit down. Troy?
Sorry. It's very old and delicate.
I'm trying to learn about fungi.
Oh, you haven't met Sergeant Troy have you?
Clarice Opperman, Gavin Troy.
What about Suzanna?
Suzanna has an alibi.
And Tristan?
Tristan also has an alibi.
Rock-solid.
Suzanna's confirmed the ID on the clothing, Sir.
Nothing on the blood stain yet.
It makes no sense.
There was no trace of any body parts in the bonfire.
They were disposed of somewhere else. But why?
Why dispose of the body parts and the clothing in separate places?
Why not just dump it all in the hotel incinerator?
It'd be much more efficient.
If you didn't put the clothes on the fire, who did?
Your father?
He couldn't have done.
But you've thought about the possibility?
The fire was lit this morning
and he hadn't left the house before I went up there.
All right, where were you between 9:30 and midday yesterday?
Were you in the woods?
I was supposed to be meeting Gregory on the edge of the woods
at Parson's Gate.
We were going to the funeral together.
He said everything would be different after the will was read.
We'd have a new life together.
That's what he said.
RETCHING
RETCHING CONTINUES
Oh.
I thought you were Colin Salter. Tristan's sick.
We thought it might be the mushrooms.
Oh, thank heavens.
Thank you for coming.
Could you hurry?
This won't take a second.
Why is it that the people who use those things always have cars
no self-respecting thief would touch with a barge pole?
The day you skip it is the day the thief strikes.
And you've experienced vomiting, diarrhoea and stomach cramps?
Yes.
And feelings of intense melancholia?
Yeah.
The yellow ones, what are they?
Chicken of the woods.
Considered a delicacy by some,
particularly the Germanic nations and also the Canadians,
I understand.
Tristan's quite fond of them as well, aren't you Tristan?
Some say it's toxic when found on yew.
But the jury is still somewhat out on that one.
Do you think that's what it was?
Did you eat any of these?
Yeah, three or four.
And may I ask what they tasted like?
Not bad.
Yes, I've heard that.
What are they?
Well?
Amanita Virosa. Common name, Destroying Angel.
There will be a remission on the third day.
But I'm afraid it's a false one.
On the fourth or fifth day,
the enzymes that attack vital organs increase
and the liver and kidneys are irreversibly damaged.
There are no antidotes.
By the time stomach cramps have started it's...already too late.
(GRUNTS)
Someone planted those mushrooms.
Oh...
Gregory didn't make mistakes.
In five years of collecting he never picked a bad one.
It was Gregory who collected the mushrooms?
Yes. The day before he was...killed.
Hm, they kept well.
Why don't you put Colin on your list of suspects?
He didn't approve of Tristan cooking the mushrooms either.
I don't know.
You give them your professional help, they accuse you of murder.
Yes, well, you are on our list of suspects.
Your car was parked in the woods at the time of the murder.
What were you doing there, Sir?
I was going for a walk.
With Florence, my housekeeper, a bit of a ramble.
She enjoys the wild life as well.
That was Julia. She's found a bag of mushrooms on their door step.
She thinks they're poisonous as well.
Enjoy yourself. Have a lovely time.
Thanks very much, Mrs Pope.
Do you know when these might have been left here?
It must've been since yesterday evening.
There was nothing here before then.
Destroying Angel.
The death threat.
They're poisonous. What?
They're poisonous, Kenneth. The mushrooms are poisonous.
I'm sure there's a perfectly reasonable explanation.
You mentioned a death threat?
Malicious prank. Nothing more. I think you need a drink, my dear.
A prank?
No, I'm sorry. They've poisoned Tristan, and now they're trying to -
Will you please calm down. No-one is trying to kill anyone.
Troy, stop.
Problem?
Troy...
..someone's removed the screws that secured the cupboard to the wall.
What the hell's going on?
How is she?
The doctor's given her something. I need fresh air.
It wasn't an accident, was it?
No, I don't believe it was.
Did Tristan receive a death threat as well?
Yes, but he didn't take it seriously.
You didn't take the threat seriously?
After your husband had just been murdered?
What about Gregory? Was he threatened?
Well, you're right. We should have informed the police. I blame myself.
Gregory, Tristan and now Kenneth. I should have insisted.
You didn't receive a death threat?
No. And neither did Julia.
We'll need to see these death threats.
They were in the form of notes, were they?
I'm afraid Gregory threw his away. So did Tristan.
I know, I know.
But Gregory said
they should be treated with the contempt they deserve.
I should have insisted.
Julia?
I can't face doing the tombola tomorrow.
You're not doing the tombola.
I'm sorry, I just can't.
Between us we have two dead husbands and a poisoned lover.
I think the village will understand.
They didn't think the death threats should be taken seriously.
What is it, a local pastime?
Where to now?
I believe Suzanna and Julia have received death threats as well.
Why would she deny it?
Maybe there was something in the threats
they didn't want us to know about.
A "stop it or else" message perhaps?
You've got to let Annie out. She'll go loopy in there.
You're not welcome here. Just go.
You double-crossing swine. I'll have you.
Mr Tyson, Mr Tyson.
I'm about to release Annie on bail. Pending further enquiries.
She'll be back with you shortly.
May I suggest that this time you try and avoid fighting.
Is that wise, Sir?
Annie couldn't have left the mushrooms outside the Gooders' door.
She was in custody.
Maybe the father's in on it?
I can't pretend I liked Kenneth Gooders. He was a sneery little man.
And the cook wasn't a great favourite either.
He did a damned good steak sandwich.
For pity's sake, Woody.
Well, he did. Best in the county.
Will he survive the poisoning, do you think?
Well, there's some talk of a liver transplant,
but they're not very optimistic.
Do you know anyone with a knowledge of wild mushrooms?
Well, I hardly know anything.
(IN PUNCH'S VOICE) You're a suspect.
I'm not a suspect. (AS PUNCH) Yes you are.
I'm not. I'm not, am I, Sergeant Troy?
Do you know anything about a mushroom
called the destroying angel? Told you.
This is not a joke, Miss Opperman. It's a murder investigation.
I'm not really a suspect, am I?
Stop it.
I wanted to run the puppet show?
And that's why I killed Gregory?
To get him out of the way? Oh, come on.
Clarice, don't tease the sergeant. He's doing his best.
Clarice, there is something you might be able to help me with.
Earlier, at the Gooders',
Tyson called Suzanna a double-crossing swine.
Why do you think he'd say that?
I don't know.
I mean, who knows what goes on in the mind of Matthew Tyson?
It's to do with the hotel. We don't know that, Woody.
It's a pretty safe bet. In what way?
It's not helping Annie, you know, keeping quiet about all this.
The new owners have big plans to modernise the hotel.
The new owners being beneficiaries of the will? That's right.
They're planning to sell off the rest of the estate to finance it,
which means Tyson and Annie might lose their jobs.
There's no 'might' about it. They will lose their jobs.
And their home,
both of which old man Wainwright promised them for life.
It was Kenneth who was drafting the contract.
The piece of paper - do you think that's what it means?
The contract is the piece of paper?
It could be anything.
We just found Gregory's script for his Punch and Judy show at the fete.
He'd already prepared it, at least some of it.
He mentions a piece of paper.
This where you found it?
In the drawer.
Phone call. It's the station for you.
Troy - could you get that please? Yes, sir.
Are you going to perform this tomorrow?
We thought, as it's a tribute to Gregory,
we should use his words.
And it might be interesting to see if any of the locals
make more sense of it than we do.
So what's the news?
Forensics have drawn a blank on the incinerator.
But the blood in the back of the Land Rover
matches Gregory's.
Annie won't be getting bail then.
What makes you say that?
She's got motive, opportunity, there's strong forensic evidence.
And we know she's capable of violent outbursts.
What about the other murders?
Down to her dad. We've just discovered he's got motive.
Plenty of it. And opportunity. They were in it together.
Look, if Annie did kill Gregory, it wasn't premeditated,
it was a crime of passion.
I've got no problem with bailing her.
It'll be very interesting
to see the reaction of one or two people when I do.
(STARTS ENGINE)
BAND TUNES INSTRUMENTS
Oh.
Tom.
I asked him to pack the new sign that I'd painted.
Husbands, eh?
I suppose keeping busy is the best way of coping with grief.
How's Tristan?
What is it, Woody? Worried about your steak sandwiches?
He's dying, basically.
Sorry.
We came to offer our commiserations, that's all.
We must get on.
It's Clarice's big day with Mr Punch.
The show must go on, eh?
Never mind that Gregory was killed a couple of days ago.
We're doing it as a tribute.
We found Gregory's script for the fete.
He must have written it before he died.
It's a pity you can't be there.
BAND STARTS PLAYING Well...
..perhaps as it's a tribute.
BAND PLAYS MERRY TUNE
Ooh!
Perhaps you should try the coconuts.
Joyce, Hello. How are you?
ARROW THUNKS
ARROWS THUNK
Ladies and gentlemen.
The special tribute performance of Punch and Judy
will commence in five minutes.
Excuse me. Chief Inspector.
Do you know anyone local who's particularly good at archery?
Locally? Yes, there is someone, but we won't be seeing him today.
Excellent shot, but sadly he's... em...
In hospital?
Yes.
Thank you.
BAND MUSIC PLAYS
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
Poor man. How pale he looks. I'll feel his pulse.
BIRD COOS
Ha! Are you dead, Mr Punch?
Yes.
I never heard a dead man speak before.
What's that you say?
OMINOUS MUSIC
A piece of paper? What piece of paper?
"Heads will roll if the truth ain't told"?
WHISPERING
Oh, you're not dead, you're only poorly.
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
Bye bye! Bye bye! Bye bye!
Well done.
Thank you very much.
CHATTER
A star is born.
Sir. Sergeant
We found this in the woods.
About 600 yards from the pool.
It's Gregory's. It's his cleaning brush.
He used it for cleaning mushrooms.
Here? Right there, Sir.
Sir? Yep.
Could this be blood?
Indeed it could.
We need samples of this.
(WHISTLES)
What is it, Sir?
I'm trying to learn about fungi.
It was Gregory who collected the mushrooms?
Yes. The day before he was...killed.
Hmm. They kept well.
Do you recognise it?
Hang on. That Polaroid... Yes, go on.
It looked a bit like this one, didn't it?
It looked exactly like this one.
I'm sorry. It was seeing his cleaning brush like that.
It was so much a part of him.
Now it's in a plastic bag. A bit of evidence.
BRAKES SQUEAL
HORN BLASTS
Come in.
It was deliberate.
We found three spike holes in the tyres.
And with that wall there you were very lucky.
We'll put an officer outside the door for you.
You think they'll try again?
Well, if somebody wanted to get rid of you for whatever reason,
they didn't succeed, did they?
And, yes, yes, they may try again.
You think they think I know something?
Well, do you? No!
That, eh, picture that fell out of the Punch and Judy book.
Could I have a look at it, please?
Does this have something to do with the investigation, Chief Inspector?
How long have you had this photograph, Clarice?
I don't know. It's one of Gregory's.
He used to try to teach me.
He'd put the names on the back
so I could sort of use them as test cards.
Well, there's no name on this one.
He normally put a date and location as well.
He liked to keep a record.
Why are you so interested in this particular picture, Chief Inspector?
I think this photograph was taken at the murder scene.
Gregory's cleaning brush was found
a couple of yards from this tree stump.
Along with some bloodstains.
There's a bracket fungus growing on a tree stump.
This fungus had been partially cut away.
It looks identical to this one.
Now, I think this photograph was taken very recently.
What does it mean?
I didn't notice any suspicious reactions
when Mr Punch mentioned the piece of paper.
Did you?
Suzanna knew Gregory was having an affair.
Before he was murdered. Did you know that?
Go on.
The landlady of the Red Horse told me today.
Did Suzanna tell you she knew of the affair?
Suzanna and Tristan both have alibis.
There is such a thing as a false alibi.
Calm down.
You must calm down.
Yes, I understand that, but...
(SIGHS)
TENSE MUSIC
PHONE RINGS
Hello?
Who is this?
Who is it?
Oh, my God.
(GRUNTS)
TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES
MUSIC INTENSIFIES
I said I couldn't commit to next year yet,
but they were pleased with the way it went.
Tom? Hmm?
I was just saying, the croquet stall went well,
but it might have gone even better
if you'd put the new sign in the car.
When you packed for me this morning.
You put the old sign in, not the new one.
I didn't realise there was a new one.
I thought that...
..that was the only...
..the only one.
The piece of paper. Mr Punch's piece of paper.
It wasn't a contract. It was a will.
There was another will.
A newer one.
TENSE MUSIC
MUSIC INTENSIFIES
SCREAMING
Shotgun wound to the chest.
Death was instantaneous.
It seems Mrs Gooders didn't realise who she'd shot
until she turned on the lights.
It's affected her rather badly.
It doesn't makes any sense.
I didn't know who it was. I didn't know.
It's all right.
You take it slowly, Mrs Gooders.
Do you feel up to talking to us?
Now, why was there a shotgun in the bedroom?
The phone call. It sounded like... PHONE RINGS
Hello?
(PUNCHES VOICE) You are next.
Who is this?
Who is it? You are next.
I'm coming to get you. Oh, my God.
So I took the gun from the gun cupboard.
It was Gregory.
He's alive.
What do you mean?
They only ever found the hand.
Maybe Tristan never actually killed him.
Maybe he didn't want to admit that he'd messed up.
And now Gregory's come back, and he's killing us one by one.
He did this.
He made me do it.
Poor Suzanna.
Are you telling me
that you and Suzanna and Kenneth, your husband,
and Tristan Goodfellow,
were all involved in a conspiracy to murder Gregory Chambers?
Yes.
What was she doing with the knife?
And you planned to kill Gregory Chambers
because of the new will. Is that right?
I didn't want it to happen.
But when they told me it was too late, they'd done it.
Well, you could have told us about it.
But then you wouldn't have inherited your quarter of the hotel,
would you?
He was my husband, Chief Inspector.
When did you find out about the new will?
It was Suzanna.
They were talking about selling off the rest of the estate
at Wainwright's bedside. They thought he was asleep.
Set the meeting.
We'll want to move as soon as he's gone.
(BREATHES LABORIOUSLY)
(COUGHS)
(LAUGHS)
You...you...you won't get a penny.
You've betrayed my trust. All of you.
There'll be a little surprise for you
when you try to read the old will.
The old will?
There's a new one?
Who?
Who's going to produce the new will?
Karl?
It's Gregory.
Oh, dear.
You've rather let the cat out of the bag now.
Tristan.
Lock the door.
She killed him?
She had to.
Knowing that Suzanna knew,
Wainwright would have made public the existence of the new will
and Suzanna and the others would have got nothing.
They were so very close, Karl and Gregory.
He was such a trustworthy person.
Why didn't he just give the new will to his solicitor?
Kenneth Gooders' wife was a beneficiary of the original will.
Gregory was the only one he could trust.
If the plan was for Gregory to produce the new will
when they were about to read the earlier one,
then they knew he'd have it on him before the funeral.
I'll do it.
Which was when they decided to murder him.
They knew he'd be on his own collecting mushrooms.
Thank you.
You received a death threat as well? And Suzanna.
But not Gregory?
Suzanna just said that to put you off.
Confess or die. To the point.
We didn't confess and now we're dying.
Just one more question.
Who was Suzanna trying to kill
when she caused the blow-out on the Punch and Judy van?
Both of them.
She said they were in it together but she was wrong.
It's Gregory who's been killing us.
Poor Gregory.
It was me who told her to go to Julia's.
She phoned to ask my advice.
She'd had a call from Julia.
She's completely lost her nerve.
She's talking about telling the police everything.
I couldn't see any way round it.
Unless she wanted to spend the rest of her life in jail.
You'll have to silence her.
Permanently. Tonight.
Was Gregory the sole beneficiary of the new will?
Look, I know you murdered him.
I know Julia supplied the alibi,
that Suzanna dropped you off in the woods
and Kenneth brought you back.
We should have got away with it.
I was going to dispose of the traceable parts
in the hotel incinerator...
..along with the will.
But after I'd dumped the rest of the body in the pool...
..and I was going back to the meeting point -
You were interrupted by Colin Salter and his housekeeper.
I had to run so I wouldn't be seen.
GROANING
Argh! Argh!
The bag must have split.
I didn't realise the hand had fallen out
till you found it.
So you decided to divert suspicion
by framing Annie.
I'd incinerated everything already...
..so we got some clothes from Gregory's wardrobe
and planted them on the bonfire. And the blood?
I thought I'd better check Kenneth's car
to see if any blood had leaked.
There was quite a pool of it.
So I got some and smeared it in the Land Rover.
And cleaned all traces from Kenneth's car.
Phone call for Chief Inspector Barnaby?
Troy, will you take that?
Why won't you tell me who the beneficiary is of the new will?
It could help catch your murderer.
Insurance.
I thought if Suzanna could murder one husband...
..she might just be tempted to murder another.
Sir, a builder's turned up,
claiming he unscrewed the Gooders' cupboard from the wall.
What?
They told you it was Mrs Gooders who asked me to do it?
Julia Gooders? Yeah.
I thought it was a bit odd.
I mean it was just a few screws,
but then that Kenneth's a useless bugger. Or was.
Let me get this absolutely straight.
You're saying that Julia Gooders asked you to unscrew
the large drinks cupboard from the wall in the living room, yeah?
Said they were going to sell it at auction.
They were going have it picked up once they'd emptied it.
Well, we'd better have a word with Mrs Gooders.
Sir? Yeah?
Apparently Julia Gooders threw a curly one in the night.
Went completely off her rocker. They've sectioned her.
Maybe it's all an act and she isn't barmy.
Maybe she's the murderer.
We know she snuffed Suzanna.
Maybe she hasn't lost her marbles after all.
But, Troy, she's admitted there was another will
in which she gets nothing.
If this was all calculated why would she tell us about that will?
Well, maybe it's not calculated.
Maybe she's just a raving psychopath.
And nervous Julia is just a front.
(REMEMBERS VOICE) Where's he gone? Where's Mr Punch?
Where's Mr Punch? Where is Mr Punch?
Natural mimic.
Any news from the lake? I'll check, sir.
Was Mrs Gooders at the house to let you in?
No. I let myself in. How did you do that?
She said I should use the spare key.
Asked if I could remember its hiding place.
Well, of course I could.
It was only last spring I did the work on the kitchen.
And she contacted you by phone to ask you to do this?
That's right.
Sir?
They've found the body.
Weighed down and tied to something inflatable
which had been pierced with an arrow, yeah?
Yes, sir.
Show our friend out. We've got some calls to make.
SIREN WAILS
Yes?
What about the body in the middle of the lake?
How did he manage that?
A bow and arrow and some fishing line.
AIR HISSES
And that, as they say, was that.
Chief Inspector, Sergeant, come in, come in.
We need to see Clarice as well, Mrs Pope.
She's in the studio.
I don't know how much you've heard,
but Julia and Tristan have confessed to Gregory's murder.
Annie is no longer a suspect.
Yes, excellent news.
Suzanna and Kenneth were also part of the conspiracy.
So now we just need to know the 'avenging angel'
responsible for their murders.
Oh, I think destroying angel is a more apt description
in the circumstances.
Amanita virosa.
I learned all about mushrooms
when Woody was transferred to Bordeaux.
Very keen on mushrooms, the French.
Indian or China, Chief Inspector?
It's Indian, isn't it? I remember.
Did Gregory tell you there was a new will?
No, no, I don't believe he told anyone, not even Annie.
He was scared about what might happen
if the others learned of it. Crumpet?
No, no, thank you.
But...somehow they found out.
So when Denise Daly, the nurse,
said she'd witnessed Wainwright's signature,
you guessed it was the will?
You're very good, Chief Inspector.
When Denise told me
that Suzanna had accused her of being incompetent -
If you'd done your job properly,
Karl would still be with us.
Now please, just go.
I knew it wasn't true.
Denise was a very good nurse.
So I guessed there was another reason
why Suzanna wanted her away from the funeral.
A document?
And when Denise told me she'd witnessed Karl's signature
shortly before he died,
I know it had to be a will.
Interestingly, Denise thought Gregory was the other witness,
but he can't have been if he was the beneficiary.
Oh, come and sit down, darling.
It's crumpets and blackcurrant jam, your favourite.
Why's Sergeant Troy being so serious?
I'm afraid I have a confession to make.
I've been using you rather badly.
But with my own body in rapid decline,
I was incapable of doing the things I needed to do myself.
Apart from the phone calls.
The talent for mimicry runs in the family, I presume.
What are you talking about?
It was Evelyn who made the two phone calls last night.
One to Suzanna as Julia, the other to Julia as Mr Punch.
Will someone please explain to me what's going on?
Your aunt is confessing to the murders
of Tristan Goodfellow, Kenneth Gooders and Suzanna Chambers.
I'm sorry, darling,
but I couldn't stand by and see Annie's life,
and the life of Gregory's unborn child destroyed.
Why didn't you tell me?
I do hope she'll understand in time.
Clarice wasn't involved. No.
She picked the poisonous mushrooms, but she didn't know what they were.
She didn't deliver them?
No. She would've put two and two together.
I asked Ben, our gardener, to deliver them.
I said they'd be a surprise.
Then I organised a little holiday for him in Ibiza.
I knew he'd only make the connection when he got back,
and it'd all be academic by then.
Enjoy yourself. Have a lovely time.
And he needed a break anyway.
Clarice isn't yet aware of the turmoil
she can cause in the masculine breast.
Are you OK?
I thought we were close.
She said it was all about trust.
How could she?
I went round to Colin Salter's
and showed him your picture of the chicken of the woods.
And Florence allowed the interview?
Hmm. It's one of Gregory's.
How can you be sure of that?
It's like a signature.
He'd always cut away the lower fronds and leave the top ones.
They'd be dirty. Leaf litter.
You've missed a cobweb on the stairs.
Colin?
Oh.
You have company.
That's why you asked Clarice to take the Polaroid.
Clarice, where are you going?
I want to check something.
You'd be able to tell if Gregory had been there that day.
But what made you suspect he had?
It was when we talked to Suzanna.
There were fragments of chicken of the woods in Gregory's basket.
Didn't he go up to the woods, mushrooming?
Not as far as I know. Where the hell is it?
Gregory had told me
that he was going to pick the chicken of the woods that day.
I knew the exact tree.
It's a perennial fungus, quite rare here.
So you instructed Clarice to take the Polaroid picture
so you could see if it was his chicken of the woods
that had been harvested - by him?
We wouldn't have been able to introduce the poisonous mushrooms
if Tristan hadn't kept the ones
that Gregory collected before he killed him.
Anyone as callous as that deserves to die.
And remember, if they'd been innocent,
they would have reported the threatening notes.
Which Clarice delivered for you.
Why didn't you trust me?
Darling, if you were a co-conspirator,
you would be facing life imprisonment at this moment.
It's not the future I had in mind for you.
I told her they were letters of commiseration. For Gregory.
Would you mind joining us a little later, my dear?
Fine.
And you wrote the Punch and Judy script for the f te.
Well, I had to get Julia's imagination going -
Are you all right?
Troy, get an ambulance. What's wrong?
I knew if Julia...
..was the only one left, she'd crack.
And she did. Aunt Evelyn?
Would you get Woody, please, my dear?
Don't go, Aunt Evelyn. Please don't go.
Get Woody.
At least Annie won't go to prison now.
Not that her life will be easy of course.
Well, it'll be easier than you might think.
She won't have to worry about a job or somewhere to live.
She is the sole beneficiary of the new will.
Tristan didn't destroy it.
So he admitted it at last.
Karl Wainwright.
He was Annie's father.
No-one knew.
Except Tyson.
So, she'll have her independence now.
My darling.
Oh, Woody.
She could be pretty tough at times.
But underneath she was the gentlest person you could ever meet.
Clarice, we'll need you to come down to the station sometime
to make a statement, all right? OK.
I don't have my glasses. Could you read it, please?
We'll be on our way.
No, it's all right.
"My dearest Woody, my time has come now.
Yours has not.
I want you to be as happy as you can be
with the rest of the time you have.
With all my love, Evelyn."
Is that it?
Yes.
But how can I be happy now?
How am I supposed to get it through a hoop from here?
You could play the red.
It's in the vegetable garden.
You can position the yellow
one mallet's length in from the shed.
It's Hurlingham Rules croquet, Tom. Hurlingham rules. Oh, silly me.
Does Woody know that Evelyn was a mass murderer?
Well, if he doesn't, he soon will.
And my guess is he'll still love her memory.
You liked her, didn't you?
What me? A Detective Chief Inspector liking a mass murderer?
Yeah, yeah I did.
I won't tell anyone.
You've really have got the hang of this game, haven't you?
Closed Captions by CSI